Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
