dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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