Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
