I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize