he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
