textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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