His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
