The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
