How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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