the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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