I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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