you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
