Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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