We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
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Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
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I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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