is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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