I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
