Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
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I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
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I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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