Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
