All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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