I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
