theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
