YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
