Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
