and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
