What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
