Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
