bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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