im gay
i know
yea but for you.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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