I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
