what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
