let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
