he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
