She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
