There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize