dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
