GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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