Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
