I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
