u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize