Christians are straight up FREAKS
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
