My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
