I showed him my bush... on skype.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
