how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It's never too late to be topless.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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