I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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