Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize