i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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