you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
