Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
