i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
