he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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