I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
