We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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