love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
