I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
